Embracing and Thriving in Singleness
On December 7, I realized that in addition to being one year older I was also one more year into being single. While, I would like to come to you today and say that it had no affect on me, that would be a lie! If we are being totally honest here, it came like a punch to the stomach. (full disclosure I've never been punched in the stomach, {thankfully!} so I'm not certain what that would feel like, but I did recently smack my face with a mattress while moving my room around and that would also accurately describe the pain! haha!) For a little while it affected my mood and my perspective. I know! I know! That's ridiculous but to understand why you would need to understand that as a young girl I looked up to the age of 25. (at that time it seemed like light-years away!) I saw it as being a pivotal year! One that marked true adulthood. One that God would have made to contain an established family of my own. That's a lot of pressure for a year but even still I've held high hopes through the years for my Mr. Right who would make me his bride, encourage my entrepreneurial pursuits, want to grow a family, and love for me to stay at home being a complete domestic diva (ugh! I really dislike the word diva but you get the picture! Cooking like Martha and decorating like Joanna) By the age of 25 I assumed my "hashtag Wifey" resume would have reached its full potential. Haha!
I've had a strong opinion on dating and relationships ever since middle school that, in many respects, hasn't changed. I knew that I wanted to guard my heart and use dating as an avenue for marriage not as a detour for "fun". Some will read this and laugh or shake their head at the thought but as someone who wears their heart on their sleeve and as someone who has spent much time in prayer on the subject I knew this was the route I wanted to take. Some days it is really hard for me to understand Gods plan as to why I haven't met a mate. It can seem confusing and lonely. I'm open to love, family and marriage, and I pray for my future spouse. I am not open to compromising on having a Christ honoring relationship. I'm thankful for Gods grace and provision over the years in protecting my heart. Still, I haven't met my husband... yet!
I'm learning that instead of focusing all of my energy on understanding why I haven't met Mr. Right I should be focusing on Miss right now! What am I doing with MY time right now that is beneficial to God, others, or myself? Am I completely "Miss"ing the point of my single years? Am I striving to make the most of these single years or am I stuck in a rut dwelling on where I wanted to be? Celebrating your singleness does not mean that you'll be single forever. It doesn't mean that you've decided to become a monk or join a nunnery, that you have to stop asking God for a mate or that you won't feel lonely sometimes. It simply means that you are surrendering to where God has you in your life right NOW!
As I began preparing to write this post I tried to think of a good lighthearted analogy to describe embracing singleness that didn't sound too cliche. Here is what I came up with (get ready to giggle and nod your head in agreement): Being single and 25 years old is a lot like being the lone onion ring in a bag of french fries. It can be viewed in two ways: an all around mistake or a golden opportunity! (Go ahead and quote me on that one darling! hahaha!) It could be something we complain about asking "Why can't we just all be fries?" or something we relish in! In our house onion rings are seen as a gift and regarded as a bonus! They're like a special treasure left in a fryer just waiting to be added to our bag. This should be how we view our single years! Bonus time with God. Not as a mistake.
Embracing your singleness can seem daunting. It may not come easy. It probably won't happen over night. Be encouraged! God has you in this season for a purpose! Embrace it and thrive! Use this time to gain vision and passion for the purpose God is leading you through both in your present and future. Spend this time serving others. (My sister and I use our Friday nights to mentor a young friend.) Do simple yet meaningful acts of kindness! Spend this time learning new skills. Spend this time deepening your relationship with Christ. Spend this time preparing your heart for marriage.
My sister and I will be attending a conference hosted by GirlDefined in August aimed at helping us figure out how to better navigate these single years. In order to go to the Love Defined conference we have started a fundraiser selling t-shirts that say "this girl runs on loads of kindness and caffeine". 15% of the sales from our shirts will be donated to their ministry! We have a goal of selling 50 shirts by April 1st! No foolin'!
My sister and I are an inseparable duo made of 50% best friend/ 50% family. Those who know us well know that where you find one of us the other can't be far. We have a passion for serving our community and sharing the love of Jesus with those we meet. We believe that being kind is cool and should come as easy as breathing or pouring your morning cup of coffee! As young twenty-something single women we find it important to spend our time intentionally. Learning and growing all we can in this time of waiting for Mr. Right. When we discovered GirlDefined ministries a few years ago we instantly connected to their story and their ministries mission. (Two sisters who use their blogs, videos, conferences, and online webinars, to build an online “sisterhood” where girls and women can find the encouragement and answers they’re searching for.) We love their infectious energy and their zeal for life! While they may not have all of the answers, they do know some truth – and it’s radically changed their lives and helped us in our walk too. Their goal is to help modern girls understand Gods timeless design for our lives. To challenge, encourage, and open your eyes to God’s incredible design for womanhood. In August they will host their annual conference in San Antonio. This years theme is Love Defined: Discovering a Christ-Centered Approach for Love and Romance. We are thrilled to be making the long drive to Texas from the Heart of Dixie to attend this amazing conference and to gain truth needed to better equip ourselves for our current season of life. Here we will meet new friends, enjoy live worship, and hear powerful teaching from Kristen Clark, Bethany Baird, Yvonne Welch, and others. Please help support us by praying for our travels (this will be the farthest we have ever driven), purchasing one of our shirts, or by hitting the "donate" button! We have decided that 15% of the profits from the sale of our shirts will be donated to GirlDefined to help them continue the work of their ministry! Thank you so much for your support!
Blessings,
Ashlyn & Kristen Hinton
"The Hinton Sisters"
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