BEAUTY redefined
Beauty-
noun beau·ty ˈbyü-tē
"The quality or aggregate of qualities of a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind."
The definition of beauty from Merriam Webster is not an inaccurate definition, but I feel that it lacks in telling the story of beauty in its true entirety. Allow me to help fill you in on all of the details. The origin of the word "beauty"is actually Latin for bellus meaning beautiful or fine, a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight. The word beauty creates different images in your mind for different people. Some hear beauty and think of their crush, their first home, or a sunlit creek they visited when they were young.
We remember moments when we have felt beautiful and moments we most certainly have not. Oh! Yes. Those "have not" moments... Flash back with me to that time in the ninth grade when I had gone on a trip to a competition with my school. It was early and I had just rolled out of bed. Dressed in pajamas (the cute matching kind), no makeup, and a (neat) messy bun, I waited for the elevator with my friend so that we could get ready for the day in my family's room. The doors to the elevator opened and my heart sank. It was packed with people that we knew. I didn't want anyone to see me but it was too late. "Maybe no one will notice" I remember thinking to myself. Then they hit. The words that crushed when they came from his mouth, hit the air, and fell on my ears... "You look different." The attitude with which they were said was almost worse than the words themselves. I didn't know how to respond. What did that even mean? "I look different?" I can only imagine the look on my face as I stood there desperately searching for some sort of witty response. Nothing. I was blank. So I just laughed it off. I had no words. As a high school girl those words had stung and left me with a longing to be more like those girls who can get away with wearing the t-shirts that say they "woke up like this, flawless". Just like that, in walked comparison. A trap that is all too easily set and fallen for when it comes to beauty.
Then, there are those moments when you have felt especially beautiful. This time lets flash back to my senior year. It was spring and time for our schools annual prom. I had just experienced a bad breakup (well it was a friendship that ended abruptly so we will just call it that for the sake of time) and had decided I wouldn't go. If you know me personally you know that I avoid drama like the plague! My dress was purchased, a BCBG Max-azria $600 original I found for $30, and it was dreamy but would have to wait... Or so I thought. After a "come to Jesus meeting" I had decided that I wouldn't let the mean behavior of a few keep me from enjoying my Senior Prom and purchased my ticket. The night of the prom arrived and I remember fighting tears on the way to taking pictures. The idea of having to face people who have hurt you is one that draws anxiety along with a whole barrel full of other emotions. I prayed fervently for God to remove the ache in my heart, the anxiety and help me to feel the way he feels about me, loved, valuable, and beautiful. We arrived at the venue and it was breathtaking! It was a sophisticated southern hotel, nestled beneath rows of aging Oak trees, and surrounded by picturesque views of the bay. I took a deep breath as I walked inside and gazed around the room wide eyed, taking in the grandeur of it all. Suddenly, I felt someone take my hand and gently squeeze. I looked beside me and saw no one. Then, as I looked down, I locked eyes with a little girl who couldn't have been older than five or six. She smiled so big it looked as though even her blue eyes were smiling too! I smiled back and said "Hello! Darling." Then came a young boys voice calling for her. As she turned to walk away (still holding my hand) she called him by his name and squealed with excitement: "Look! It's snow white!" "It's really her!" "Wow! I can't believe I just met Snow White!!!" "Look!" My prayers had been answered in the most adorable way! I felt Gods love for me rush over my hurting heart like a tidal wave. My eyes welled up with tears of joy! I felt beautiful! I mean, I had just been compared to a Disney Princess, y'all! I felt overwhelmed by Gods grace and the tender care he was showing me through mending my hurting heart. Throughout the evening I saw the little girl and her family several more times and each time she would smile, wave at me, and tug on her parents making sure that they saw and waved at "Snow White" too.
Now, these stories are nice but if beauty stopped right there at the surface, at only the things we see, then it would be a constant yo-yo of highs and lows. A sad state of ups and downs and an eternal sense of never being able to measure up. It would be fully dependent on the outward appearance, perfection, and aesthetics. Thankfully these accounts of beauty aren't the full story. They each became moments to learn and grow from in my life but, returning back to how we define beauty..., well, they fall short. The truest definition of beauty would be something a little more like this:
Beauty
Adj. beau-ty byü-tē
A character trait shown through inward strength, dignity, integrity, and confidence. Having virtue. A pleasurable quality of the heart.
Are you catching on? It's not about what we see on the outside! True beauty is so much deeper than a slim figure, spidery long eyelashes, or voluptuous lips. It's found somewhere that is hidden. It's found deep in your heart. Now, stop for a minute and think about that. When you say the phrase, "She is so beautiful," are you making reference to what is on the outside, the inside, or both? Her looks or her behavior? Recently, I helped by serving as a volunteer under the Whatever Ministry for one of their events. While serving, I couldn't help but notice the beauty coming from those who were serving alongside me. They served so selflessly, working hard to ensure that the event ran smoothly. They put the needs of others before themselves and were able to show grace as well as customer service. They gave genuine compliments to those around them. They glowed with inward beauty! You could tell that their hearts were in it, not just a quick flippant decision to hang out.
It seems that social media has tried to take away the authentic definition of beauty and replace it with a cheap "likable" substitute that is selfishly outward focused and outward driven. Beauty in its truest form is defined by God and God alone. Stay with me, this is important and we are reaching the climax! He sets our standard for beauty and let's just say it's pretty high! He provides clues throughout Scripture as to what defines a beautiful woman. Unfortunately, the secular Webster definition of beauty fails to recognize the most key component. One that determines a woman's true joy, confidence, dignity, integrity, and even humor. What is that key? -----Pause for effect----- It is faith! Genuine and authentic faith in a living, loving, and forgiving God. You can see, just as the Proverbs 31 passage concludes, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" (Prov. 31:30). Faith in a loving and forgiving God is at the root of any and all forms of beauty. Physical beauty is nice but will fade over time. True beauty (virtue), on the other hand, is absolutely timeless and completely eternal.
How would you define true beauty? Can you relate to the stories I shared? Have you ever gotten caught up in the search for physical beauty and lost sight of your true beauty? How did it make you feel? What scripture have you found talk about beauty?
If you are a middle or high school girl I would like to invite you to join me next spring with Whatever Ministry as we celebrate our true beauty, value, and purpose at SPARKLE 2018. It's going to be amazing! Go to www.whateverministry.com under the events tab to find out more!
xoxo
Ashlyn
Dainty and Darling in Dixie
Disclaimer: I see nothing wrong in wanting to wear makeup, dress nice, or even workout. My main goal with this post is to make you aware that those things, as nice as they are, fall short. Beauty cannot end and begin with what we see. Instead, it should be found first in our heart. Everything else is just icing on the cake!
